The places I have lived still exist in me, mapped on the landscape of my life. Our memories of that time and place have a sort of mythic patina.
Lisbon haunted me. Memories of that city were awash in all the strong emotions I felt when I lived there 15 years ago. I never wanted to go back, afraid of how it would make me feel. Going back meant going back to the relationship I had there, the uncertainty I struggled with, and the challenges I faced at that particular moment in my evolution as a person.
Lisbon May 2023
I hadn’t been back to Lisbon since I left in late 2008. But when Paris plans fell through, I decided to take myself on a writing retreat in Lisbon. The idea took hold and I booked an apartment and a flight.
I wasn’t going to Lisbon to get more facts. I was after feeling. The sensation of walking up and down those Lisbon hills. The specific triumph when you finally arrive at the top of a hill and are rewarded with a fabulous view.
It all seemed like a good idea, but going to Lisbon seemed scary. What would happen? Would I just be sad and lonely the whole time? I was surprised at what I discovered, not just about Lisbon and the novel, but about how I relate to a place emotionally. In this post I’ll share some of the surprises that I experienced when I returned to Lisbon, including a wee photo gallery to time travel….
And, when I am in Lisbon this month, I will share videos here with paid subscribers to give a view into the world I inhabited when I lived in Lisbon.
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